Valuable Lessons To Learn For Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day, my friends. It's old Uncle JP here with another installment of the Money Minute. While stopping for a refuel of my private jet on my way to the Isle of Oingo-Boingo (I promised the Queen a rendition of "The Entertainer" for her birthday, and I am never one to disappoint a lady), I thought I would pen my latest thoughts on the financial bruhaha in Europe. Not quite the latest, as its been going on since at least 2010, but, I wish to address it nonetheless. That mess is the Greek financial crisis.

For the unaware, the Greek economy is in a complete tizzy due to too many wants and not enough revenues. Politicians lack a necessary political will to fix the crisis, and the people refuse to mend their ways. As such, with a national debt slowly approaching double the yearly production of the economy, it looks as though Greece may default on a whole host of debt obligations, leading the country and its people into a heady spiral of increasing economic anemia.

Now, if one is actually living in Greece, this can be a problem. Widespread chaos can pose more than a few problems, such as rioting, looting, pillaging, and what have you. However, for those not living in Greece, you can minimize your risks by keeping these little tips in mind:

1 ) If anyone shows up on your doorstep wanting to give you a giant wooden horse, don't let them in. History has shown that this is a
favored tactics of Greek looters who, hiding inside the horse, will
emerge from it when you least expect it to burn your house and run
away with your wife. This may be a good thing or a bad thing for you if it happens, but I warn you in any case.

2) If anyone offers to sell you a golden fleece, decline. Lambskin doesn't grow on trees (usually!), and even if it does, sword-wielding sailors are sure to appear sometime after in search of it. When that happens, don't say I didn't warn you. I got my money back, but my pride never really recovered from that little episode.

3) Lastly, following history, as the economy deteriorates, the internet is sure to soon be awash in a new and eligible crop of Grecian goddesses looking to alight to more prosperous shores. If you should notice any young ladies on singles sites that seem to be of Greek heritage with snakes for hair and who perpetually wear sunglasses, you may want to look elsewhere. If you don't, expect a future spent between a rock and a hard place. Romance is difficult enough as it is ... its even more so for lawn ornaments.

My plane is done, my friends, so it is time for me to focus on tickling some ivories ... namely, the Queen's. May my advice find you well and wise and most importantly, Happy Valentine's Day from myself and the staff at the Tintype and Telegraph!